this giant marble clock with life-sized maidens greeted you as you entered the exhibition. like most things displayed, we couldn't help thinking,"why?" it obviously cost tons o' $$, but is so durn fugly, why would anyone bother? for a minute, we wondered if it was perhaps a jeff koons parody- a grandma mantle clock blown-up to gargantuan proportions to highlight it's ironicism as a kitschy object turned into high art. but no- it's just a big ugly, expensive, grandma clock.

so you have all the money in the world, yet you choose to buy a vaguely "oriental" furniture suite straight out of a san gabriel valley warehouse furniture store? (we know, not PC, but that's how they are advertised. really). yuck. tip to ANYONE think of buying a "suite" of anything- don't. suites are good only at the four seasons or the plaza, never for furniture. also, please note the lifesized butler statue- more on that when we cover "the creepy".

more gram-tastic furniture- a victorian renaissance revival mirror and a clunky brown wood american cabinet- both bad reproductions, we bet. lets not start about the clock- hid-e-ous.

some items made me smile, they were so gaudy- like this giant king tut harp. wtf? do you think he had a servant dressed as an egyptian slave play it at parties? at least as campy performance art, we could get behind the expense of the darn thing.

what grown man would have not one, but TWO 3 foot wide statues of cinderella's carriage? one lladro ceramic, and the other bronze. again the expense and the waste boggles the mind, and since these things were purchased years and years ago, you really have to wonder why a man not yet in middle-age would be compelled to buy lladro? isn't there an ironclad rule that one must be an elderly woman to qualify to purchase lladro? oh well, we guess it just shows how all celebrities think they are above the rules, even the sacred "gramma's only" lladro rule. ;-)

speaking of gramma's, note the below sofa. seriously, m21's own grandmother had chicer stuff than that, and she wasn't a gazillionaire (remember, all of these items were purchased pre-financial meltdown).

more yucky brown wood "americana" furniture. neverland was supposedly modeled after the happiest place on earth, but it's furnishings were anything but happy. positively dreary for the most part.

last, you are a multi-millionaire, one of the most successful pop entertainers ever, and you have the money to indulge your every whim- so you buy yourself a freakin' leather lazy boy chair? really? at least the king tut harp was one of a kind...

next installment- "the ugly", because yes, it gets worse...





12 comments:
Ghastly, I agree. And the carved Chinese furniture is soo awful. Don't even like it when it's antique, but new is just so low-end.
WOW- so much awfulness- i love it!!
yuck
More more more!!
I love the gaudiness of it all.
more to come, kids, more to come...
i haven't got to the "art" collection yet- that's were the true creep out factor starts to come into play...
The King Tut harp, or as I like to call it, the King Tutankahmen Harp, is really something. And no, I don't think he had a servant dressed an an Egyptian slave play it at parties, I think he had Liz Taylor put on her Cleopatra wig strum him a melody to woo him to sleep.
Even in a Op Shop with a $5 price tag that Harp would not move!
Just goes to show ya that money doesn't necessarily mean taste!
I wonder if the tricycle is haunted/possessed like the carvings in Hill House ?
speechless, bothered and bewildered
you are hysterical! It seems to me that MJ's furniture is a true reflection of MJ...a little on the wacky side.
You are cracking me up.
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