19 December 2010

rainmaggedon!

ok, who stuck the rain pin into the southern california voodoo doll?  because a forecast of SIX, count them, SIX continuous days of rain is positively unnatural, and some evil force must be behind it!

let me give you an idea of how this will play out for the average angeleno, k?
day one: "omg i love, love, LOVE the rain! imma turn off my iphone, light a fire, mull some wine and stay under the covers all day, watching 'a charlie brown christmas' over and over again. yay! did i mention i LOVE the rain?

day two: "this rainy weather is awesome- i finally mastered that lemon-ginger phō recipe, baked two batches of macaroons that rival the ones my agent brought me back from ladurée in paris,  and even made wheat and dairy-free, carob-date cookies for my gluten-intolerant vegan friend, willow.  plus, the junk drawer is organized, my closet is color-coded. and my screenplay is almost finished! yay! rainy weather is nature's miracle gift!

day three:
"kinda bummed that my 'power yoga in the park' class is canceled, and would love a REAL latte from intelligentsia to perk me up, but who wants to drive all the way across town in this weather? guess it's a sugar-free vanilla latte from coffee bean and tea leaf for me! this water from the sky stuff is getting a bit old, but we could use the water, i guess..."

day four:
"today, it's nasty ol' half-block away starbucks- i almost got into three accidents on the way to the bean yesterday, because no one in LA knows how to freakin' drive in the rain! and don't get me started on my $85K miracle of german engineering, with the hard-top convertible option- that's one mother-flocking leaky german miracle! arrrgh! OVER IT!"

day five: STORMWATCH! MUDSLIDES! FLASHFLOODS! RAINMAGEDDON! this rain totally sucks- if i wanted to live somewhere all depressingly weathery and stuff, i'd live in some dreary foreign capital, like london or seattle.   and if i don't get in a hike at runyon soon, i'm going to turn into a nasty old carb-faced monster.  rain = fat. THIS IS MESSING UP MY PERFECT LIFE!
day six:  in a fetal position, rocking in a dark corner, while softly sobbing, "ple-e-e-e-ase, make it s-s-s-top. i can't take it one more s-s-second-  i beg you, bring my sunshine b-b-b-back... i'll do anything, ple-e-e-e--e-e-e-ase, make it go away..."


oh, and santa?  if this doesn't stop by 4 pm on december 24th, christmas is officially canceled!  i'm not kidding!

11 comments:

Teresa at Splendid Sass said...

Well maybe Santa is bring you sunshine for CHristmas, Christian. I hope so. Six days is way too much.
Teresa

Norell said...

You make me smile every day!! Since I live in SC Texas, I understand exactly what you mean about people who don't know how to drive in the rain. It becomes a catastrophe city-wide if it rains for a few days. I hope it stops soon so you have a wonderful Christmas.

Christine said...

This is my first time on your blog and you are a hoot! I'm bookmarking you for my daily gotta getta giggle :) Oh, and design inspiration too.

THE PICKLED HUTCH said...

All I gotta say is Ugh, I beat you to day 5 by day 3! We are floating here in the Bay Area.
Happy Holidays!
Lisa & Alfie

Karena said...

Oh Christian, I am so sorry to hear this, you can certainly come to Kansas City for the holidays, of course it could snow!!

Cheer up...Joyeaux Noel!

I have a new giveaway from My Sparrow, do come and enter!

xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena

Alexandra Rae said...

Going right on my fb page. You've been sleeping in my head. OH-vah it!! After my big effusive post about how wonderfully "Christmas-y" it was ;-/

Nita {ModVintageLife} said...

Oh...my a little rain and your a basket case! I LOVE rain. I love love love cloudy days because I get tired of the bright bright sun bearing down on me. But yes, it can get a little tiresome, I suppose.

Hang in there...it will eventually change. We haven't had any good rain till like July...very crazy. Because usually we get rain here in September and October. I need to get out and water and I never have to water in the fall and winter.

Please send a little of that wet stuff this way.

jones said...

I'm with you all the way. Please make it stop--my big beastie can't go to the park; the little beastie won't go outside and the cats are yelling at each other and my clients won't go shopping (or buying) in the rain. Please make it stop. Mary

Suzy said...

I guess I understand why the Californians I know in HK don't deal with rainy season so wel...

Merry Xmas to you Christian, Ted and Richard! x

katiedid said...

Hahaha! Christian, you are too much! It is always a good thing to have nature test one's metal every once in awhile. It can only help those method actors become better!

But I have to agree....Seattle is NOT on my "live here for awhile" Bucket list!

Wishing you and the kids the Happiest of Holidays!!!
xx
Katie

Tara said...

Christian you crack me up! Stay safe out there!