10 March 2009

DO. NOT. WANT.

"TROLL, TROLL, GO AWAY,
COME AGAIN SOME OTHER..."

screw that- forget about the rhyme! just go away, already! really troll, you are not wanted here. we do not like and do not want.

today, during my morning blog reading while waiting for my coffee to kick in, i saw a post by a good blogging friend regarding a negative comment she received on a perfectly innocuous and entertaining post. said follow-up post generated a big ol' flame war, which i stupidly participated in (i'm a big believer in sticking up for my friends), and things got nasty, but now i find myself asking "why"?

why would anyone visit another's blog to post nasty things? why invest the time and energy? if you think design blogging is self-absorbed and frivolous, why even visit our world? why not just keep your opinion to yourself, and move on? obviously, we find our blogs to be a great outlet for discussing our passion (or as in our particular case, discussing our passion AND our clearly superior design skilz). we like what we talk about- a lot- so if you don't, please stay away. you are not welcome at our party.

so let me be clear- i will NOT post negative comments referring to any living person on this blog, and will ALWAYS have comment moderation enabled in order to prevent it. criticize suzanis all you like, but when it comes to the people who love suzanis, save your breath. not gong to happen here. ever. if you want to start an "i hate maison21" blog of your own, go for it- it's a free country and i absolutely believe in freedom of speech, so i would never dream of censoring your right to publish such a blog (though i might sue you if it's libelous), but i won't allow your negativity here, and i certainly won't visit any blog that promotes such, either. DO. NOT. WANT.

which brings me to my second point- i recently had the non-privilege of discovering a blog doing exactly what i just described- hating on fellow design bloggers. again, i would ask, why? life is tough enough, do we need to be hating on something we love? we should be thrilled that there are so many design blogs out there with so many divergent voices, and we should actively encourage others to share their love of design with us- even if we don't agree with the particular blogger's point of view, or how they express said view. like your mama told you- if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, or in this case, if you don't like the blog, don't visit it. easy enough, right?

last, to those who have blogs making fun of others, as well as those blogs that encourage such activities in their comment sections (you know who you are), and to the all the people who take time out of their busy days to leave negative comments, i ask you to please remember that there is a real person behind every blog, and that real people have real feelings- why would you want to intentionally hurt another person's feelings? i know that most of the people who leave rude comments over the internets would never dream of doing so in real life- but the thing is, the internets are real too, and even the most thick-skinned of us can get hurt. so just don't do it, k? there are better hobbies. really.

let's stay positive, have fun and IGNORE THE TROLLS. you are not wanted here. now, back to some self-absorbed and frivolous design...

*troll doll photo courtesy of the otherwhirled.

25 comments:

erika said...

Amen!

Tracy said...

Holy cow, M21! I just casually came over here to see if you had anything to say about what's going on over at Meg's and boy do you! I read and enjoy her blog regularly and felt compelled to jump into the fray myself. Although I truly couldn't care less what anyone of such mean spirit as her commenter has to say - unlike Meg, I have a pretty thick skin - I felt it was important to let her know that she was completely without fault. I mean, my gosh, all she did was have fun at a party! Good thing the austerity police weren't in my neighborhood last weekend!

Pigtown-Design said...

Thanks so much, M21! It means the world to me to know you have my {fat}back!

Tracy, thanks to you, too. I appreciate it greatly.

I was out of touch all day and was shocked to see how out of control the anon was in her comments.

It's good to know I've got you all in my corner!
xoxo

katiedid said...

Yeah M21! What a hair-raising (ie - troll hair) experience at Meg's expense! I loved what you said here and there and totally agree! We just want to have fun and design is fun. Did said troll pay you a visit? Hope not. I did have to say a thing or two myself over there cuz friends are worth defending! Bravo!

London Calling said...

Well said.

maison21 said...

hey all- after reading negative posts on one blog, having a nasty email exchange of my own with another blogger (i wouldn't link to his "design challenge" post because he had pron stills on his blog), and then seeing the "austerity police" (good one, tracy) at meg's, all in a week, i'm just DONE. why do people feel the need to put each other down in print? (real or virtual?)

don't get me wrong, i've got the snarkiest, most sarcastic mouth west of the mississippi, but spoken comments are transitory and certainly don't have the impact of print, virtual or not. and having been attacked on another blog once in the comments section, i know it wounds- at least at first read. you get over it, but still...

meg, you certainly didn't deserve what the poster said (especially the comments of a personal nature) as you are one of the kindest and least controversial bloggers out there, but you have to look at the source- what kind of person gets all bent out of shape because a group of people enjoyed themselves at a party? someone with serious issues, that's who. not like your revels were held at auschwitz- now that would have been inappropriate and worthy of anger!

i love that the commenter said they were a corporate lawyer? please. how many corporate lawyers do you know who call calls one person fat (and then denies it) and then calls another a ho? it's just some 12 year old, playing pretend adult on the internets...

Bonnie said...

Your post was very well expressed. I am so sorry you had all this negativity cross your path. I havent read what happened on Meg's blog yet. You are a kind man to stick up for your friends. And I would not have wanted to see that other persons design that you declined. I started reading the interior design blogs because i really like interior design and find the people to be very genuine, thoughtful, creative and informative. It is a positive motivating environment. Your place is definitely all that is positive, and you make it a lot of fun!

Beaux Mondes Designs said...

You go Maison21!

Things That Inspire said...

In a world filled with angst and crisis, I see the design blogs (most of them) as a wonderful corner of the world where the beautiful and the good reign.

MaryBeth said...

I read all the post on Meg's and had to hop over to see your post regarding the anon ahole. I don't understand why anyone would have to be so nasty. The first comment was his/her opinion but to keep commenting on everybody and the nastiness of anon ahole was beyond belief. Maybe he/she was mad because they never get invited to parties because people are telling them they aren't having them because of the economy but in reality just don't want them at the party.
But please don't insult sick little 12 year old girls by including anon ahole as one of them. MB

mary said...

Amen and Bravo....so , we have the option of not accepting anon comments - maybe we should all ax the anon...... just put an end to it. I come to you to hear about downtown LA shopping... Broadway in the afternoon...great design finds ...and BTW what was the new shop in the 'hood? Who needs the other crap - I love your blog.
"That's all"....(Miranda Presley)

Suzy said...

Wow - I have no idea what has been said, but really, I think M21 is right...if you don't like desing blogs, don't read 'em! And really, if you are going to remain anonymous and leave nasty personal comments, then you're nothin' but a coward as far as I'm concerned...

Linda Merrill said...

Go get 'em M21!

Alkemie said...

Wow, I commented on Meg's Party post before I had a chance to read all of the mayhem that ensued in the newest post. I thought and still do think that the party was absolutely wonderful.

Believe me, we are all very aware of the dire situation. I get so upset I don't watch a lot of the "bail-outs" any more. I actually work in a niche industry that is tied directly to the finance world so it definitely has affected me. This doesn't mean we stop living though. Just because we are aware and we do prepare doesn't mean we should shrivel up.

I'm inclined to agree with Christian that the insults sounded like they were from a Jr Higher who got stuck in bed with the flu. This kid was really ignorant in making hugely sweeping comments like "all Arabians are terrorists" and such. I've met wonderful people in and from the Middle East who are definitely not terrorists. The outright insults (pretty much name calling) usually stem from people who feel insecure themselves (as they feel the need to put others down.) My parents are very traditional Asians. In the Asian culture, being unable to show civil manners at the most basic of levels is actually quite appalling and quite often looked upon as a reflection of upbringing. There are exceptions, but most of the time, I would find this to be true.

And I'm sorry, but planning to write a book about blogging when she doesn't blog herself and is reduced to insulting other people under an anonymous identity doesn't sound like a recipe for success. Especially if she plans to center the book around bloggers and their "egos". It shows she has no understanding of the blogging world. Books that attack the world and are negative in such a manner do not usually "fly off the shelves."

Sorry got carried away there but I'm in complete agreement with your post Christian.

Meg - this person had WAY too much time and negative energy on their hands. My eyes literally popped out when she tried to call you (fat). I was like "what the hell??!!" Didn't have any poignant words left to say so she was reduced to name calling.

Great post Christian and very well said!

Ava Lee said...

I honestly have not seen snarkiness the like of that on Meg's blog since my days of middle school. Seriously?

Why are comments like that neccessary? In the face of everything that is going in the world right now do we need more downers?

Thank you to bloggers like you and Meg that inject a little bit of happiness in our lives with design, color and harmless frivolity.

Ivy Lane said...

Thanks M21! Well said!

JPD said...

Oh M21, you are my hero (bats eyes flirtatiously)! A gallant and chivalrous knight indeed, defending the honor (and right to party) of fair Pigtown maidens. Frightful trolls (ok, pompous supposed corporate attorneys) shall quiver, hold their acid-laced tongues, and return to the nether regions of blogland anonymity at the thought of encountering your razor sharp repartee. Where, oh wherefore art thou my Romeo? Alas, he is here at the Masion21 atelier. The silent among you stand in awe and respect.
Oh, and "MaryBeth", please! M21 doesn't have ANYTHING against 12 year old girls...it's just a metaphor. Geez.

The House of Beauty and Culture said...

Tiger.

Topsy Turvy said...

Christian - bravo to your comments over at Meg's.

I don't understand anon's initial comment anyway. Is everyone supposed to curl up and crawl into a hole because of the economy and bad things going on? Sadly, there have always been, all over the world, people suffering and bad things happening. It didn't just begin with the current economy. Should we be guilty of having some happiness in our lives? Anon mentioned he/she was going to enjoy dinner with his/her family. Is that fair to all those others who are suffering?

–Lana

Amy said...

Maison21, this seems like as good a time as any to thank you for your blog. It is a welcome bit of beauty in my day.

hello gorgeous said...

Right on.

MaryBeth said...

Oh crud, I don't want anybody to misunderstand me, I was joking. I meant that 12 year old girls might be insulted to be lumped in with a jerk like anon. Like don't call me a pig because you would be insulting pigs. Sorry if you didn't understand my lame excuse for a joke. MB

Cote de Texas said...

Meg's shining knight. You have always been one of the nicest here and boy your true colors really have shone. That one comment about where Meg actually lives just about did me in. I wanted to reach in the computer and wretch it away before she saw it. You're a real mensch in my book!

Rachel said...

I totally agree with you... there is another blog out there that I started following for about a week or so, until the funny "snarky" posts and comments started to turn a little mean spirited, and they seemed to be directed at another blogger who I enjoy reading. You know when you read something and you think "Wow, that's kind of mean" that it's crossed the line. It just seemed that this new blogger has something serious against the other, and just is rude about it all. So I stopped reading all-together.

I know I'm not the funniest or the smartest or the most creative or the most talented, but what I love about this community is that everyone is so supportive and friendly. I love the free-flow of ideas and advice.
Being sarcastic or not liking something is one thing, but being awful or tacky about it is not-called for.

Elements of Style said...

Thank goodness!!! I so agree and have received many a nasty comment. I don't post them and just move on, but sometimes I really want to just slam them back. Like the "anonymous" person who left a comment "Kelly Wearstler is so much prettier and talented than you". WTF? Really? I had no idea... LOL.