08 April 2009

wouldn't it be nice! (or i should know better then to feed the trolls, but somehow, i'm doin' it anyway)

getting married
yesterday, one of our favorite blog buddies sent us a link to post about m21 on another blog (one we never visit, btw). it showed the super-gay picture of mona and m21 that we use as our blog photo, with the caption "getting married". we have to admit, much as we don't particularly care for the blog where it was posted, it totally cracked us up. whether it was posted as an april fool's, or just for the heck of it, it was funny. BUT... since said blog has used our copyrighted photo twice now- without our permission- m21 feels it's time to stop dancing around the issue of the blog and address the elephant, or rather in this case, the troll in the room...

and why would maison21 not like another design blog, you ask? doesn't he love all things design related? well, he would like the blog in question if they understood the difference between being funny and being cruel. we're all for a blog that takes the piss out of interior decorating- any industry that uses the word "important" to describe a goddamned table, needs to have the wind let out of it's sails (you know, "it's an important napoleon II revival game table". um, no. world peace is important, an old table is at best, merely pretty- it's just furniture, folks). we actually love the idea of a blog that pokes fun at over-played trends and hideous objets. heck, look at the title of our own blog- this whole decorating thing is an elective, an option- a privilege- and as such should be approached in a light-hearted, "let's just enjoy the process" way! to quote one of our heroes, dorothy draper, "decorating is fun!" and to quote maison21, "decorating blogs should be fun too!".

but there is a difference between showing a picture of moi-self and moi-self's little girl getting hitched (more on that later), and showing the same picture of m21 labeled "hot" next to another blogger's photo labeled "not". the former is funny and something we would gladly give our blessing to, but the later is just using our photo to make fun of someone else, and maybe it's because m21 had freakin' food thrown at him in high school, but he will NEVER, EVER approve of someone making fun of a real live person just for the heck of it, and especially employing our privately owned image in the process of doing so. it's just cruel, and we want no part. not image, not text, not link- NO PART.
let's draw a distinction here: celebrities, politicians and other public figures, are just that, public figures, and as such, are pretty much open game. when you sign up to be an actor or a politician, you know that kind of thing comes with the territory, and are usually amply compensated for it. satire of public figures is also protected by the 1st amendment (as long as it's not libelous), and we believe in the first amendment 1000 billion percent; BUT... making fun of design bloggers, who toil FOR FREE, to publish their blogs in the hopes of enlightening and entertaining? well, technically, it's still covered under free speech too, but is it nice speech? no. it is not. it falls into the category of "just because you can, it doesn't mean you should". anyone is free to say it, but why would they want to? that's the kind of thing to gossip about amongst your friends in study hall if you must, but publish it anonymously on the internets forevers? no. (and anonymous = cowardliness, in our opinion). remember, behind every blog, there a real live person with real live feelings, and why would anyone want to hurt someone who has done nothing them personally, rather merely attempt to write an entertaining blog? is it just because they can? or because they feel slighted for being left off a blog roll? or some other, so silly that grown adults shouldn't be concerned with it, kind of reason? speaking for maison21, he left that kind of mean-spirited petty name calling behind in high school, and he thinks it should stay there. we LIVE for sarcasm, but we DIE a little inside when we see needless cruelty.

so here's our advice (not that anyone asked): don't like our blog? don't read it! don't waste your time leaving a negative comment here, or writing a nasty post about m21 on your blog. instead use your time to write the kind of post you do want to read or perhaps write a post about a blogger you really do like! set a positive example, not a negative one! talk about the good, not the bad! poke fun at zebra prints, but not the real live person who used it in their home, and posted it on their blog for your viewing pleasure- because we all like to look at the pretty pictures, but if people start getting ridiculed, they will simply stop posting them out of fear, and then a few mean girls will have ruined everything, for everyone, forevers...

so no throwing food in the cafeteria at the kids you don't like, alright? 'cause it's mean, and sooner or later you'll hit one of your friends that you do like, and then they won't be your bff anymore. they'll simply end up sitting outside in the quad with the freaks and geeks- like moi- and having a good ol' time- without you. in other words, just politely ignore the kids you don't like and befriend the ones you do. it's ever so much easier, and ever so much nicer...
last, getting back to mona and m21 gettin' hitched- we're all for it! opponents of same sex marriage use that argument all the time: if we allow gays to get married, then what's next? marrying your dog? and m21 says: WHY NOT?

think about it- most marriages end up sexless in the end anyway, so m21 and mona will just skip the whole honeymoon phase, and move right into platonic companionship! if you really contemplate the prospect, you'll realize a dog is the ideal spouse- if you come home late for dinner without explanation, they don't give you the cold shoulder, they are simply more excited to see you! if you forget your anniversary, they don't mind at all! heck, they don't even know what an anniversary is! and should m21 go to the big dog park in the sky before mona, she simply inherits all the treats in the house without red tape- exactly as it should be!

see why m21 would want to marry his bestest gurl? ;-) forget marriage equality for humans, m21 says bring on the puppy love!!!! *

*you'll note, during that last bit, no names were named, and no religious or political conservatives were harmed (or liberals either, for that matter). just a mild example of how satire can be used to get one's point across without being cruel. and no, we won't tell you the blog's name referenced at the top of the post. until they learn to use their sarcastic powers for *good*, not evil, and stop throwing food at the other kids in the cafeteria, we will not honor them with a link, nor will we publish comments that attempt to do so.

that's all folks, we won't be revisiting this subject again, and who knows? maybe we'll actually get around to publishing a design related post one of these days- so we don't have to change the name of our blog to "maison21- opinionated, and waaaay too serious..."

31 comments:

THE PICKLED HUTCH said...

Love this post,just like all the rest. I have seen this dynamic everywhere from blogs to RMS. I love the positve spin but am sure "anonymous" will find it a brain twister. "Anonymous" is always a much easier, safer route when on the mean path. Well done here.
Except, now I have to go google to find the culprit not mentioned here! lol
Lisa & Alfie

mary said...

A-MEN

THE PICKLED HUTCH said...

P.S. Harking back to the 80's, did you see Adam L on AI last night? I would not have believed anyone could improve on a Tears for Fears song, one of my favorite bands.
Lisa & Alfie

Leah said...

Ugh -- so sick of mean people. And especially mean people who are barely literate.

And I would *so* marry my dog if I could.

Anonymous said...

Well said M21!! Jr.Hi is where some peak out. Ginny

Vickie H. said...

Well said, I think...it is just sad that it needed to be said to grown ADULTS, for god's sake!!!! I simply do not get the mean-spirited thing...since when did belittling another person make one stand taller? So, thank you for speaking up. So many of us continue to admire you on a number of levels! May God bless you and little Mona as well!

Vickie

Tracy said...

"Ditto" to everything you said.
Now, go have a cocktail and find something pretty to write about tomorrow.
And give Mona a kiss for me. She's lucky to have you, married or not.

Nadine @ BDG said...

How fantastic to find a design blog that's oh so much more than that. I very much enjoyed your mix of topics-- Cheers, Nadine Bouler

Bonnie said...

How odd of that other blogger. Don't they have anything better to do? I just read something similar to this on another interior designer's blog who was getting some mean "annon" comments.

I joined the world of Interior Design blogging to get away from others who play childish petty internet games to boost their over inflated egos. I could go on an on about it but will try and refrain... Still, I feel like slinging some cafeteria food across the room at your odd blogger but I don't want to lower myself to their level... I want to be the better person and ignore the trolls.

That said, you could always register for some snazzy gifts!!!! :)

maison21 said...

lisa- what is an RMS? i'm slow sometimes ;-) (as you might have noticed from my email re: AI).

mary, i see your "amen", and raise you an "amen, sistah"!

leah- "barely literate" is my favorite comment, evah!

and who, would ever want to be trapped in junior high forever, ginny? that would be the 7th circle of hell!

vickie- thanks for the props! i honestly don't know whether ignoring this kind of stuff or addressing it, is the right way to go- but since i gots a big mouth, so addressing it is usually the way it ends up, whether i want it or not!

tray- cocktail was accomplished, and pretty will follow soon! mona says kisses back!

nadine, i love your "mix of topics" phrase, as opposed to my "scattered all over the place", which is how i usually think of my blog post subjects!

bonnie- i always want to be the better person too, and not stoop to their level, but yesterday's negative comment coming from the same geographic as another blogger who i've been exchanging words with on this issue (same place i think is home base for the blog which has no name), was the straw that broke the camels back, and just had to speak out.

and mona and i are registered at petco, on the outside chance that the courts rule in favor of interspecies marriage. ;-)

The House of Beauty and Culture said...

You really are the better person. I'm in awe. Awe, I tell you. Still am in awe too, especially after spending the past hour trying to find the blog that won't be mentioned...

mary said...

Hi Christian--You just said it all! This rule needs to be extended to all adult interactions--no more negative, high school, passive/aggressive crap. We are here (this world)to support one another. Thanks for leading me to the "Irish Travelers"--great blog. Can you keep the dialog going?

katiedid said...

Ditto, ditto and more ditto! You are my hero Christian ( and Mona and Richard!)

maison21 said...

HOBAC, i don't know whether you are having a go at me, or not, but i'll take it at face value and say thank you! (damn you britsh, and your dry humor! you know we colonists are to dense to figure you out) ;-)

anyhoo, didja find it? i think you'd probably think most of it was funny (as i pretty much do- except for the parts where it's sooooooooooo not. if they'd pull the personal sh*t, it would be on my roll in a heartbeat. actually, it would probably be on everyone's... they are cutting off their nose to spite their face, me thinks).

mary-

god what i wouldn't give for a world where every acted mature and adult. what i wouldn't give if *I* could always act mature and adult... ;-)

kaite-

you are too sweet. right backatcha!

San Diego Songbirds said...

ew and ew. as i was just telling a friend of mine who had someone talking the shiz to her face... happy people aren't mean. sad for them that they have to get their rocks off by being rude to others. good for the rest of us who get to live our lives without having to be mean to feel better about ourselves! you are presh and i heart you and your blog... and cutie mona:)

magnaverde said...

Well, I admit that I'm curious about who's been bad, but I'm too lazy to bother doing any research, and I'm not about to let my morbid curiosity increase the perp's page-views, or whatever. The online world is merely a digital reflection of the middle school cafeteria, insecure bullies are everywhere & it's not always possible to stop their churlish behavior, but we don't have to encourage them by calling unnecessary attention to them, either. That's the beauty of the Internet: let them stay anonymous. Besides, I've been hit with online spitwads, too and I don't even have a blog. It sucks. Like you say, being critical of stuff is one thing. Being mean on a personal level is another thing entirely, and there's no excuse for that.

On the other hand, if Mr (or Ms) X hadn't stepped over the line of civility, you wouldn't have had call to write such a heartfelt & eloquent post. We already knew that you're a talented desisgner & a funny dude, but now we know you're a hell of a nice guy, too.

Anonymous said...

Check out who the number 1 commenter on that blog is. A blogger who prides herself on her civility and fine manners.

maison21 said...

hey san diego homegirl! (my hometown)-

you boiled it dwon to one sentence: happy people aren't mean. profound.



magnaverde-

aw shucks- you are too kind *he says bashfully* but really, you ascribe the nice guy thing to me too easily- trust me, i can be as bitchy as the next queen. and if those online spitballs were directed at your gorgeous apartment, i will personally find those anonymous bitches and beat. them. down!

anon-

thanks for the anonymous tip, but i do not visit that blog, and won't, until they stop posting pictures of real live peoples to ridicule them. so whoever you are trying to point a finger at, will remain as anonymous as you!

The House of Beauty and Culture said...

but i'll take it at face value and say thank you!...

And so you should. That was how it was wholeheartedly intended. If it you gave a moments pause to think otherwise, I am truly sorry.

maison21 said...

HOBAC- i never doubted you for a moment- i was just trying to flex the funny bone.

thanks for your visits and support!

Jillian said...

Totally true....insecure,dissatisfied idiots are mean...so they project all their hatred for themselves or their circumstances on to something or someone in an effort to make themselves feel superior? Shame on you, attacker of M21...
there should be an official name for these type of blogidiots!!!

Anonymous said...

"i think you'd probably think most of it was funny (as i pretty much do- except for the parts where it's sooooooooooo not. if they'd pull the personal sh*t, it would be on my roll in a heartbeat. "

You clearly read it.

maison21 said...

jill-

there is a name for them- we call them trolls. childish immature trolls.

maison21 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
maison21 said...

oops- read the time stamp wrong on that anon comment- witchy poo at 5:27 is just one of my regular anonymous nasty commenters. of course i'd be nasty too, if i lived in the middle of nowhere in BUTLER COUNTY, KANSAS. frankly, jethro, i'm amazed you have electricity, let alone an internet connection...

if i'd known it was you, kansas troll, i would have simply deleted your comment- you've been told you are not welcome here several times before, kansas troll.

begone!

mrlfvl said...

I just hate hearing about bloggers who put themselves out there and get completely undeserved abuse. Having a lively debate or a difference of opinion is worthwhile, but when the line is crossed, and basic decorum is ignored, well that just pisses me off...Here's my parting thought...As Rosie Perez so eloquently said in the movie Untamed Heart..."you...are like wet sand in my underwear." So that is what I think about that jerk...keep on keepin' on M21...the good people out there love you...and the others can just SUCK IT!!!

maison21 said...

mrlfvl- wow thanks for your strong voice of support! dang!

so with ya on everything you said- LOVE a lively discussion, and hearing others opinions, but mean is mean, right?

so hey mrlfvl, i've been meaning to ask you- how did the project with the barcelona chiars work out? and more importantly- how's biz in your neck of the woods? tell me good, k?

mrlfvl said...

SOOOOO wish I could tell you biz is good, but I can't...and I also wish I could tell you that the Barcelona situation came to a neat and tidy conclusion...but it didn't...so I'll just leave it at that. When are you heading to my neck of the woods so we can meet in person and swap stories over cocktails????

maison21 said...

bummer, megan- sounds like things are the same all over. i was hoping perhaps VA escaped our financial meltdown (and then i'd be movin' there, ASAP).

sounds like we are traveling similar paths- one of my recent clients went from a 50K budget to not being able to pay an invoice of less than 1K. i'm now faced with trying to get some merch back from them. ugly.

travel (and the accompanying cocktails) are far in my future right now!

tula said...

darling, i am right there by your side. no more mean girls, please!

regarding marrying our dogs...you do know what that leads to, don't you? marrying our cats. and, to that, i say YES!!!

love you, m21!!

maison21 said...

right backatcha tula!

i would GLADLY marry BOTH my cat and my dog, and live happily, polygamously ever after...